What to do with my life?

I am not really sure what to do with myself.  I have been keeping fairly busy working on bookkeeping for my clients since moving on the boat.  I have gotten several new ones who needed a lot of back work, which is super exciting, but now I am all caught up.  I don’t really want to get any more clients because I am happy with the amount of money I am making. In fact, I have been thinking that I should let some people go or hire someone to help me if I get anymore clients.

When I am not working on bookkeeping, I am doing laundry, making dinner, cleaning around the boat.  You know, being a good housewife…which is utterly foreign to me.  I swear I have made more meals since living on the boat than I have the last 11 years of marriage.  I was real good at boiling water and heating things up, but now I am actually reading recipes and making things from scratch.

It has been quite fun trying new things and totally different than when I came home from work, exhausted, and tried to make something new.  I usually ended up crying because everything takes longer than recipes say and also I didn’t know what half the words in the recipe meant so I would have to look them up.  I think people who make recipes really don’t understand how write instructions for someone who doesn’t cook all the time.

Anyway, I have stayed pretty busy and when I haven’t been “Brandy Rocker” (my sister, Ginger, started calling me that) or working on bookkeeping, I have been helping Dan out with projects on the boat.  Mostly running to the store to get things, ordering items online, doing research to see how to do something or what product people recommend.

This has been all fine and dandy until Corey joined us.  Haha!  I don’t mean it in a bad way, but Corey is a much better chef than I am and has been making amazing meals without using a recipe.  He has even been doing dishes after making the meal while I sit around and do nothing.  He is handier than I am and has been helping Dan a lot more than I could around the boat.

Right after Corey joined us, I had an unexpected trip to Minnesota for 4 days and when I came back I only had 2 days to get a whole bunch of bookkeeping done before my friend came to visit, so I was working non-stop.  Then my friend, Chrystal, was here and the boat was a disaster so I tried to get us off the boat and out playing as much as possible but that meant Dan and Corey were back on the boat working…while I was out having fun.  I felt really bad about it.

Now, it has been 3 days since Chrystal left and I finished all the bookkeeping that I needed to do 2 days ago so I have been playing a lot of Monopoly on my phone while Dan and Corey fix the boat and Corey makes us meals.  I have been completely useless.  I imagine that I seem like the laziest person around.

I made a list of things I could do last night.  Learn Spanish, workout, make instructional videos for my bookkeeping business, write blog posts (getting that one done!  #winning!), and a list of boat projects that I think I can do without any help.

I still feel useless.  I told Dan that I felt useless and he started rattling of a list of things to do, which is fine, I can do those things.  But, what happens once they are done?  They won’t take that long.  I guess I am feeling a little bit like I don’t know what to do with my life.  What I normally do when I start to feel this way, is I get active in things, but I don’t really want to join the Junior Service League here because I will be leaving in a couple of weeks.  I could volunteer somewhere but, again, I won’t be here long.  I am feeling a little bit like a sea turtle in the middle of the ocean who is paddling but doesn’t really know why and not really sure how to fix this.

Brandy

Comments

  1. Sweetie, you have to give yourself a period of adjustment. Do you know how to knit or crochet? Make some Christmas gifts or baby blankets for the NICU. But most of all you need to relax and enjoy the life you dreamed of.

  2. You are brave to write such a vulnerable post! I think lots of people struggle with finding a purpose that they really feel good about, but mainly we are not brave enough to share that struggle publicly.

    I like your idea of doing more instructional videos for bookkeeping. That would both help a lot of people and give you some raw material for other business possibilities…such as online video training classes.

    And I like your idea of doing volunteering…and that does not necessarily mean ladling soup at the soup kitchen (but it could). it could be also be volunteering to help organizations that could use your special business and nonprofit organization knowledge, I think that you have lots of gifts to share with the world, regardless where you sail to 🙂

    1. Author

      Love you Dad! I had a call with another bookkeeper this week where I helped her figure out how to fix some issues in Quickbooks. She was at her wits end and had been up all night trying to figure out how to do something. She was so close but not all the way there. After I got off the phone with her, I thought that maybe helping other bookkeepers is a path that might really interest me. Helping them figure out their crazy client books and get a plan as to how to fix it sounds like a blast to me 🙂

  3. Just because Corey is good at the things you were doing before doesn’t mean you can’t help out too! It takes a village and even if you’re not the best it doesn’t mean you’re not useful. Doing nothing sounds awesome to me, BTW! #jealous!

    1. Author

      True, true…it does take a village. And I know, I could totally “butt in” and be like, I am cooking tonight. Heck, it would probably be good for me to have him watch me and give me pointers so I can improve.

  4. What about Dillon training? You could have the best trained Chihuahua on the open seas!

    1. Author

      That is true! I should totally try to teach him to do cool things 🙂

  5. Bartending skills are a great hobby…and you’ll never be bored!

    In all seriousness, that you felt like you were useless at all speaks to your awesome character and openness to discovering new talents and developed skills! That’s not useless, it’s adventurous… 🙂

    1. Author

      I like how you think! I am not useless, I am awesome haha!

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